Saturday, August 15, 2009

I don't need this right now.

Who I am is not who I want to be. I advocate transcendentalism. I admire Rousseau, Voltaire. I rave about optimism and always try to make people happy. I like motivating quotes. I like being a romantic, yet I am very realistic. I weigh the costs and benefits of everything. I analyze every little detail, action, word. (This may be the only thing about me that connects me to the accounting/business world.) I think a lot. I think too much. I seem so sure of my beliefs and opinions at times that I forget that I don't carry it out in my everyday life. Or do I? Maybe I am just second-guessing myself because of something that someone said. But that in itself shows a lack of certainty. "You are pessimistic. You are not confident." 

Have I skewed so far away from what I thought I was to have people think this about me?

I'm stubborn. I get jealous easily. I like being comfortable. I reason out everything. I let other people affect me too much. I don't like to be wrong. I don't like being told what to do. I don't like being told who to be. I like my space.


Sometimes I'm too idealistic. Not everything has to be perfect.


I don't need this right now. 

Sunday, August 2, 2009

premier jour

Although I was excited to fly to another country (by myself!), I quickly realized how scary it is to travel alone in France -- without knowing any French. This realization came quicker than expected. I was surrounded by French-speaking people, as soon as I got onto the plane. (Who knew Air Tahiti had so many Frenchies!) I felt very alone on the plane ride and didn’t talk to anybody, because I felt like a retard who didn’t understand what anyone was saying. I survived the flight, however, distracting myself with ’17 Again’ and “He’s Just Not That Into You.’

 

The first thing I noticed about France was how questionable their customs/security system is. They let anyone who appears to have a passport into their nation—no questions asked. I was expecting to be interrogated or at least fill out a form, but I was quickly shuffled through into baggage claim. The French people at the airport were kinda rude. Everyone seemed to be very pushy and had no sense of personal space. However, when I got to Paris, everyone seemed to be friendly and helpful. (You know…. Besides those people that harass you for money.) It took me a long time to find my hotel, and I had to lug all my bags for what seemed like a million blocks. Our hotel is very nice though. It is like an apartment, equipped with kitchen and everything. We are about 3 blocks away from Notre Dame and a minute away from crazy shopping and nightlife.

 

I was pretty lonely the first few hours here, because I didn’t know where everyone in my program was… So I explored a bit by myself, and it was exhilarating. I feel so independent being alone in a new place. I went back to the hotel after buying a sandwich and took the best nap of my life. I woke up to my roommate’s arrival. Her name is Kristin and is incredibly cool. We are very similar—or at least compatible. She shares my passion for bike rides, souvenirs, event planning, coffee, and cheap things! (I am proud to say that she may be cheaper than I am.) I’m really glad to have her as a roommate. She speaks a little French, so she helps me order and buy things! Kristin’s only downside is that she doesn’t like junk food (!!!) and she loves country music. There’s an espresso machine in the lobby, and we get a cup every time we pass by. I’ve had 4 coffees already!! Wooooooooooo!

 

We were going to go out to a bar/restaurant tonight (because it looks so fun here…. Live music! Strobe lights! 8 hours of happy hour! Crazy guy in a mask outside telling us to dance!), but we got tired and were just gonna buy wine from the supermarket to celebrate our first night. But that failed, because they stopped selling alcohol at 10:30 PM…. So went back to the hotel and got more coffee!

 

But anyways, even though we didn’t do much today… I love Paris. There is so much going on and I really love the Bohemian lifestyle. The only thing I am bummed about is that I don’t have a VISA or Mastercard. All I have is my lousy Discover and debit card, so I may have to keep exchanging for Euros. I wish I had thought about this more before. Discover is barely accepted in America… why would Europeans take it?? That’s all for now. Tomorrow is our first day of class and I’m excited to meet everyone else. I’m getting hungry…..